


Holding Claws

by space



Series: Space's Hawaii Five-0 Comment Fic [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Comment Fic, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-03 12:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space/pseuds/space
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Come on, you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, you know, holding claws like..."<br/>~Phoebe, from Friends</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding Claws

**Author's Note:**

> 1,100+ words of Steve/Danny as lobsters. (you can blame [](http://stjarna1984.livejournal.com/profile)[**stjarna1984**](http://stjarna1984.livejournal.com/). I do.) Originally posted at [](http://gunslingaaahhh.livejournal.com/profile)[**gunslingaaahhh**](http://gunslingaaahhh.livejournal.com/)'s ["Merry Fucking Christmas" fest](http://gunslingaaahhh.livejournal.com/342623.html).
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry it kinda doesn't have a REAL introduction?!? /o\

Oh God. /o\ Now I want the fic where the boys go to a seafood restaurant (AT CHRISTMAS-TIME - TO MAKE IT FIT THIS FEST!!1!) to check out a suspect and somehow get magicked/cursed/what-have-you into lobsters and thrown into the fresh tank. And Danny is the active one skittering all around, ranting the best he can, but his claws are banded goddammit and "Steven, this is all your fault!"

Meanwhile, Steve is slowly moving around the periphery of the tank, efficiently yet politely coaxing unsuspecting lobsters into positions where they're more strategically liable to be chosen for the Old Bay boil first. And that's when he sees it, the warping effect of the water and the glass doing nothing to conceal the large man all dressed in white, carrying a large tray and now lifting the lid of the tank.

Steve does the only thing that comes natural, he scurries at the still ranting Danny and pushes them both underneath the nearest pile of crustaceans... kind of a reverse crowd surf. Bottom of the ~~dog~~ lobsterpile.

"Oomph. Steve, what the-"

"Danny, shut up." Steve is currently poking the pointy spine of his claw into the bright blue rubber band surrounding Danny's left hand, er, claw, over and over again, weakening the restriction. When it finally gives way, Steve positions himself in front of it. "Use your cutter claw to snip these bands, D."

"My? How? You know what, never mind." Danny shakes his antenna back and forth in exasperation, finding it hella weird that he now smells through the unsatisfactorily-coiffed hairs on his head, and just starts wedging his claw underneath the band of rubber. He gets Steve's cutter claw free and then they each work on the other's crusher until they're completely free.

"Now what, Super SEAL?" Danny asks. "Or maybe I should come up with some witty lobster-related name for you. You know we're basically overgrown cockroaches now, right?"

Ignoring his inanity, Steve goes with answering the original question. "We can't do much but wait for Chin and Kono to find us. But at least now we have a better chance of defending ourselves. I don't wanna have to fight any of these other lobsters, but I will if I have to."

Danny's beady black eyes squint menacingly. "What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying you have to defend me? I'm more than capa-"

"Danny, look at these other guys! Over two-thirds of them are twice your size."

"I'm scrappy, you bastard! And you know what? Those guys being bigger means they'll get picked first, so fuck you all."

Steve mutters something Danny can barely hear, but he picks up a couple of keywords - "chop" and "bisque" - and how the fuck is this Danny's life? And where the hell are Chin and Kono?

\---

After a few more harrowing escapes from Chef Grabbyhands and one pretty gnarly lobster!McGarrett brawl (of course, the Neanderthal), the guys finally get rescued by the BAMF cousins, who force the guy who started all of this to turn Steve and Danny back. It's rather awkward since now they're naked and wet and pretty much forced to shiver in the men's room until Chin brings them their spare clothes from the Camaro.

"This is all your fault." Danny's hiding in a stall. He's not just going to hang loose with Mr. GQ out there.

"Yeah, you said that. Before." Steve calls back. He sounds tired and Danny steps up onto the toilet to risk a look at his partner. He's leaning against the wall, hands covering his junk, and there's a wicked looking red gash across his ribs that Danny didn't see before.

"Hey, you're hurt." Danny steps out of the stall, one hand covering himself, the other reaching towards Steve.

"It's fine. You should see the other guy." Steve smiles, his eyelids heavy, and that.

That's why Danny was more comfortable with a fabricated metal wall between the two of them. It's looks like _that_ that turn his normally-quite-sturdy legs to a more jelly-like consistency. And his brain to mush, apparently, because the control receptors are seemingly offline and he’s reaching out to brush lightly along the bare skin just under the ugly, marred line caused by a crustacean’s lucky strike.

Steve jumps slightly at the touch and Danny can't help but smirk, his eyes locked on the path of his fingers, his thumb finding the pronounced line of an abdominal muscle and pressing in slightly. Steve's breath hitches and that's what finally draws Danny's attention to the taller man's face, taking in the darkened pupils, the clenched jaw. "You're going to need to get this checked out, babe. No telling what kind of bacteria we've been swimming in for the past few hours," he whispers.

“You, too, D.” Steve’s voice is hovering at a register Danny’s never heard before. Abrupt movement behind his own hand suggests he likes it though. “Not taking any chances,” Steve continues.

And Danny can’t help but let loose a righteous huff. “Did you, Mr. Leap-First, just say that?”

Steve smiles. “Commander.” And when did they get this close? “And I don’t take chances, Danny. It’s called calculated risk.”

Danny struggles to pull his eyes away from his partner’s lips. “Really.”

And then, oh fuck, Steve’s hands are on either side of Danny’s face and that means that. “Fuck,” Danny breathes out just as their lips touch, too soft and gentle, too damn hesitant for as naked as they are. It’s bass-ackwards and so fucking right he can’t help the moan that rattles his chest as he pushes Steve back against the wall and deepens the kiss to a more appropriate force:naked ratio.

And he knows he’s not making any sense (and must be mumbling things out loud against the solid yet amazingly soft line of Steve’s neck) when his partner gasps then laughs and says something that sounds like, “Thanks, Chin.”

Danny freezes, Steve’s hands gripping his hips and keeping him in place as his head whips around to take in the other male member of their team, one hand firmly in place over his eyes, two duffle bags and a plastic sack dropped on the floor in front of the door. “Um, guys. Clothes.” He turns to leave. “And Kono found your guns and badges in the back office.”

Then the door shuts behind him and that’s that.

Steve looks at Danny.

Danny looks at Steve.

Steve rubs his thumb along the line of Danny’s hip. "Danny, I think this means you're my lobster."

Danny pinches Steve’s ass. "Yeah, well. You just better not be shellfish in bed, babe. That’s all I’m sayin’."

Steve laughs them into a quick kiss, gets them dressed even quicker, and drives them home, where he proves there’s not one shellfish bone in his amazingly agile and extremely bendy body.

_Fin._  



End file.
